Do more, be better

A pebble in my shoe

by Jessica on 12 July 2011, filed under Working It Out

There was a task on my to-do list that I had been putting off for weeks. It started off as a trivial matter, just a bit of a pain, a pebble stuck in my shoe.

The first couple of days were hectic and I didn’t get to it. It wasn’t the highest priority thing, and it wasn’t all that pleasant. It started to cause me some guilt and the effort of doing it grew bigger in my mind.

The following Friday when I packed up for the weekend it still hadn’t been done and to my surprise it had grown. It had become a rock, and rocks are much heavier than pebbles. I’d better look at it first thing on Monday.

By Monday it was heavy enough that I actively didn’t want to do it. I started making excuses; I need to talk to so-and-so first, then there is this really important email, oh look it’s lunch time and I really must get onto x, y and z this afternoon.

One morning I came in and there it was, looming; a boulder. I eyed it up, already feeling defeated. There was no way I was going to be able to shift that. I started to feel a sense of dread every time I thought about it, so I stopped thinking about it. If I didn’t look right at it maybe it would just go away…

It refused to be ignored and only grew bigger. Soon an unconquerable task casting a long shadow over everything else I did, a mountain. My stomach dropped and my feet dragged as I tried to approach it.  It was starting to rumble and belch smoke, the urgency was growing. If I didn’t get this thing done it was going to be a disaster.

There was nothing for it. I laced up my shoes, gave myself a pep talk and leapt towards it, fully prepared to stumble and be bought to my knees by this terrible task.

To my amazement I flew up and over it, landing on the other-side exhilarated and surprised.   Looking back it shed all its layers; mountain to boulder, boulder to rock and there it was in its true form.

Just a tiny little pebble.

I could have flicked it out of my shoe in the first couple of days.  For god’s sake; why did I put it myself through all that when it was so easy to do?!



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